(Header image from the hyper-violent Eat the Reich vampires vs facists rpg, written by Grant Howitt and illustrated Will Kirkby)

Disclaimer: I am writing this post from the beautiful rocky mountains of Denver, Colorado, which is about 6,000 feet in elevation higher than my home at sea level. The air is thin and the sparse oxygen is surely affecting my brain, such that I am guaranteed to make more than a few mistakes in this blog. While I am on this aside, I wish a happy 3rd of July to those who celebrate. Now on with the review.

Rowan, Rook, and Decard just publish hit after hit. I am yet to play a single game they have published that I didn’t adore and isn’t just dripping with atmosphere and emotion. In fact, their game Hollows is still the most fun tactical combat focused game I have played to date.

The conceit of Eat the Reich is simple, you are a guerilla strike force of vampires sent to fight nazis at the end of World War 2, with the express mission of killing Adolf Hitler. I want to make this clear now: In many games the villains will have heart breaking backstories, compelling moral arguments, or undeniable charisma (read: they are extremely hot).

That is not the case here. Nazis do not have a modicum of good light cast upon them and do not have their ideals whitewashed or fetishized. They are real and objective evil and will be excised violently for their sins. Hitler is not a strong, confident leader. He does not get a speaking role, he does not get to be sly, or snide, or arrogant. His only role to play is to be weak and afraid and to be ripped apart at the hands of the immortal undead.

I think there are three obvious reasons to play Eat the Reich: The hyper-fast-hyper-deadly combat resolution system, the novel take on classic vampires, and catharsis around fighting (and winning) against fascism.

Roll a Bunch of Dice!

If you are a discerning, wise reader with good taste, you know that the d12 is the best of all platonic solids, but a d6 is just a hop, skip and a jump behind. This game needs a lot of d6s. The game runs on dice pools, where each 4, 5, or 6 is a success that allows you to harm the nazis, defend your self, or advance the objective. Enemies always roll at the same time as each player, which means that turns get to be very snappy once everyone gets how the dice pools are built.

You describe what you are trying to do, then build your dice pool using the relevant stat and any equipment or skills involved in the action. The equipment also have bonus dice that may apply if certain conditions are met. For instance, I played the weapons expert and arsonist Nicole, whose M3 submachine gun added an additional die if she was flanking.

Importantly, I did not have to take a “flanking” action or move Nicole to just the right square (there are no concrete battlemaps anyway). I just had to describe how Nicole was flanking to get that extra die. Some balance enthusiasts may whine, “this is so busted, why wouldn’t you always just describe actions in such a way to get the bonus.” THAT IS THE POINT! The game wants you to get more dice, and the game wants you to describe how you are ripping your way through the nazi occupation of France, and this solves both problems! Well designed games incentivize the type of play they want you to experience.

Ideally you will be rolling 15 dice for using your panzerfaust anti-tank launcher to destroy one of the corners of the Eiffel tower, while rocketing an armored car up the other side, directly into a German airship. This is something that really happened in my game, and I have never felt cooler. This is meant to be a high-octane fever dream of violence. It is The Fast and The Furious meets From Dusk til Dawn, but instead of being about la familia, the message is “Fuck nazis.”

The Vampires

Anyone who knows me, knows I love pregens, and these are some of the best damn pregens around. I have already mentioned the heavy artillerist Nicole, but we also had the classic beautiful mesmer Iryna, the spaghetti western gunslinger Chuck, and the batman-that-is-more-bat-than-man Flint (plus a few more, I don’t want to give everything away).

Every vampire has very obvious connected story tropes to call on for roleplay purposes, plus at least one or two deeper twists to give them more than one dimension. Because this game only uses pregens, the abilities are bespoke and range from bemusing to bonechilling. Even their wounds are unique for each vampire. I had a hearty chortle when the “damage” dealt to vain Iryna was just her hair getting ruined.

These vampires are just begging to be driven like stolen cars. Swing for the fences, make big plays, use every tool and dirty trick the character sheet gives to you, because, after all, the GM wants you to kill nazis just as much as you do. Nicole specifically had a death wish (a bummer for an immortal with superhuman abilities), so I took damage at every opportunity and she barely limped out of Paris at the end of the night.

But really these gothic horrors don’t die, they go supernova. Once you run out of wounds, you get to burn out with glory, a last stand unique to each character that has a base dice pool of 8d6. You can look forward to death knowing you are guaranteed to do some major damage on the way out.

The Catharsis (?)

In time like these, it feels great to just sit down at the table and just beat up the fascists. Or… it should? Other RRD games give me that catharsis. Fighting in a doomed resistance against an oppressive government in Spire is an absolute emotional rush for me as the world comes crashing down around characters that dared to try. But I didn’t get that from Eat the Reich.

Perhaps the almost cartoonish levels of violence didn’t allow for deeper self-reflection, or maybe I was just too busy detonating TNT inside a blimp to care, either way, this is not a game that I think makes you feel deep feelings, and I think that is okay. The game is worthwhile without needing some deeper meaning. I had loads of fun, I wholeheartedly recommend the game, and honestly, the book is worth it just for the art.

I think you should absolutely buy and play Eat the Reich. It is a phenomenal fast-paced action combat engine with an undeniably novel premise. It is easy to run, it is easy to play, it only lasts for a few sessions at max, and can be done in a tight three and a half hours. It burns hard and it burns fast. Show up for a good time, not a long time.

Acknowledgments

Eat the Reich can be purchased here.

This is not my first Rowan, Rook, and Decard review, and I guarantee it will not be my last. They make my favorite games, and I am always excited to see what they will put out next. An enormous thanks to Grant Howitt for making a game that is fun to play fast and loose, and Will Kirkby for nailing a rowdy punk gothic aesthetic.

Thank you to the glorious Liz who ran this game for the Secret Sunday Sampler. She is handling all the games I am too chicken to run, and doing a fantastic job. Thank you to the messed up bat-man TundraFundra, the glamorous Raggadorr, and the western enthusiast Hat!

As always, thank you to kraftpaperhat (the same Hat! who played Chuck) for designing the Secret Sunday Sampler brand and logos.

No AI was used to make this blog (but I did start gnawing on my keyboard like a tech vampire to see if I could taste blood).

P.S. I think a lot of games work fine if you do a quick table teach and ease into the game, but I suspect Eat the Reich works better if you can slingshot straight into the action and don’t have to spend 20 minutes explaining how to build the dice pool. This game is one I would heavily suggest players do a little reading beforehand. The rules are not that long and not that hard and I think getting straight into a coffin drop will make this game sing.

P.P.S. If you can, consider buying games from your local game store. Many of them will let you request the game through them even if it isn’t something they normally carry. That way the game store knows there is demand for more than just the standard ilk, you are supporting cool game designers and cool community spaces, and often you don’t have to pay shipping! That is a win-win-win in my book!