Header image is from Jordan Madrid on Unsplash
Tl;dr: Join an improv group ten years ago then vaguely remember everything you learned from it.
ESTABLISH RELATIONSHIPS
The faster you know who you are and how you relate to the other players, the easier it will be to channel this character you are living in. This is not just relationships as in sister or cousin, this is “How do I feel about how brash and defensive the Queen is?”
A good character creation system will weave connections between players and help inform those feelings, but the relationships shine when you polish them above and beyond what the game system demands. My advice? Ask questions whenever there is a lull in the game. Every question fills out the inquirer, the inquieree, and the bond between them.
Ask other characters mundane questions (“It’s cold out, do you want to borrow my cloak?”). Ask other character interesting questions (“I don’t mean to cause offense, but you are quite weak and unsure of yourself. Why did you become a knight?”). Ask other characters inciting questions (“HOW DARE YOU?”)
Ask “What about second breakfast?”
FIND THE GAME
Some rpgs make this deeply easy: Make money, kiss your friends, catch the rats. Others require some time to tease out the specifics, but the faster you know why you are all around the table together, the faster roleplaying clicks, the more time you get to play the game. If you can’t figure out where you are going, strike out in a direction and go, then allow yourself to be reeled back in as the table finds itself.
I know it is tempting to hold secrets for a big reveal in the future, but no further session is promised. Play hard and fast, don’t be coy with your plans.
Climb the snowy mountains before tumbling down to a rocky tomb.
SAY NO, DO YES
THIS ONE IS REALLY IMPORTANT! So many people have heard of “Yes and” without this very important corollary. Even if you have established that you are deathly afraid of caves, only to find out the majority of the game takes place in a cave, DO NOT SIT OUT BECAUSE IT’S WHAT YOUR CHARACTER WOULD DO. Think of how interesting it would be to get to roleplay hating being in caves but going any way because of reasons that have been uncovered as you established relationships and found the game!
Your character may want to survive the apocalypse, find their long lost love, or reach the vista on the tallest mountain, but you want the most interesting thing to happen.1 Make choices accordingly. Open the door for heaven’s sake.
Be a dwarf riding a horse!
DO NOT SELL OUT YOUR CHARACTER
If you are trying to play a game that feels like it has real stakes, you have to treat your character like a real person. Do not sell them out for a cheap, above table joke. This doesn’t mean you can’t play a silly character or find comic relief, just that you must be earnest in their silliness and react earnestly when bad things happen. If you find out your father has just died in battle, do not squeeze their nose and go “Honka-Honka!”
Sing to a king as he eats tiny tomatoes.
PIRATE, NINJA, ROBOT
Every time I hear about the idea that players fit into different archetypes, I am reminded about improv archetypes of the pirate who will bravely swing into any scene; the ninja that works in the background, supporting until the perfect time to strike; and the robot who takes an analytical approach to the game. Feel free to insert your favorite archetype framework here, but what is really important is to understand that you are not always going to serve the same role. You are not always INTJ.
Some nights you will be energized and feel able to push scenes and make things happen, some nights you will be content to sit back and enjoy the story whipping in the wind. Even scene-to-scene your role will change as you support other players or keep notes for the table.
This holds true for your characters as well. If they tend to be loud and bombastic, savor a moment of scared silence. If they act as a socially awkward polymath, place them in the path of flirtation and hopeless romance. The tactical leader at a loss for words.
Some days you smoke pipe-weed, some days you swear fealty to a king.
BE PRESENT
At the end of the session, several hours will have passed whether you focused or not, but I promise you will have a better time if you focus up. I get it, it’s hard. My jazz professor used to yell “You should be sweating at the end of each track because you are so damned locked in.” You did the hard part by showing up, spend the time you set aside focused on the game.
I have run out of relevant Lord of the Rings references. The extended editions are eleven hours long, you just have to focus for three.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thank you to Kurt Refling of A Smouldering Lighthouse for editing notes.
Thank you to Michael F. for convincing me to join an improv comedy troupe, and to Keith F., Ted B., and Andrew K. for showing me the ropes. I haven’t done improv in years but the lessons have made a lasting impact both on my hobbies but also my real life.
Thank you to Prismatic Wasteland for making a blogwagon on the topic of being a good player. I have spent a lot of time lately thinking about the dual issues that being a player is a skill that can (and should) be improved, and that for some reason most online advice is GM focused.
Thank you to Quinns of Quinns Quest whose patreon exclusive video on being a fan of your players informed a lot of this thinking as it pertains to rpgs, especially the section on establishing relationships.
Thank you to all the people who have run games for me recently. For years I almost exclusively GMed and now I have to fight tooth and nail to get a slot as a facilitator because everyone is so excited to bring their game and their spices to the table.
- See this great blog post from Seraphina on Pawn Stance and how your goals as a player differ from your goals as a character. ↩︎
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